****Of note: When I write "oh my goodness" in this blog entry, my actual real life response was much less Jane Austen and much more trucker/sailor-- just keeping this blog PG (especially as my oldest can now read what I write).
I dropped off the boys at school, got my Egg White Delight (minus the Canadian bacon) sandwich (my McDonalds guilty pleasure) and stopped by Walgreens to get some travel size toiletries.
I considered going to yoga instead of my usual routine of doing yoga outside the boys bedroom while they are"quietly" reading books! ("Quiet" is a relative term when referring to little boys and their volume, energy and activity! Let's just say I've gotten really good at switching between "zen" and "mama" mode!)
I got to the yoga studio and didn't even stop the car, thinking I have no time for yoga. I still have to pack, do one last load of laundry, shower and wash my hair and was hoping to sneak in a manicure (haven't had one since my wedding over 11 years ago and I start a new job next week...look sharp, feel sharp.) One mile down the road I turn around the car and head back to yoga.I have to make my health and exercise a priority (my new anthem was "strong is the new skinny" and packing clothes wasn't going to beef up my triceps!) Anyway (self talk here) I have all afternoon to get ready for the trip! Right?!
9:00- at yoga
9:15 - yoga starts
9:45- sweating, shaking in poses; "strong is the new skinny, strong is the new skinny". Ugh... when will this be done!
10:30- corpse pose; relaxing; lavender pack on eyes; China gel on shoulders;ahhhhhhh!!!!!!
10:50- to my car; slightly freaking out by the time as yoga ran long. check my phone! Oh no- missed call from "boys school".
Thinking in my mind:
-did I forget a lunch? No- hot lunch today
-did I forget to pack a snack? No.
-puking kid? Maybe.
-broken bone? Maybe.
-stitches? Maybe.
Called school. No answer. Only partially freaking out. A minute later. Ahhhhh- I hear the calm, always soothing, voice of Mrs. Barb (Pickle's teacher). Think of the most lovely preschool teacher- that is her! We picked their school over other great choices because after meeting "Mrs. Barb", you just KNOW she is the woman you want nurturing, teaching and caring for your child!
It's about Pickle. He was itching his head. She looked in his hair and found little, flying BUGS. Of my goodness.***
I immediately "recalculate" my day, my mindset and the car's route! "I'll be there as soon as I can!" Call and cancel manicure. Call and make appointment with the pediatrician. "Yes I am certain she said the bugs could fly. Oh, lice can't fly. Well we do live on a farm with animals. Yes, 1:45 will be great. "
Pick up the infested child while still in sweaty yoga clothes with my sweaty hair piled on top of my sweaty head. Pick up the other child (hopefully not infested and so glad they now sleep in separate beds.) The older one wonders why I'm at school early..."Your brother has bugs In his hair"! He shrugs and goes to get his backpack, acting like this news is not at all odd or interesting.
Drive home. Farm chores first as I'm already stinky! And here is when things start to really go downhill.
Bring in the recycling
Clean up the barn
Bring the boy's bike ramp into the barn
Shut one barn door
Shut the other barn door
WHAT JUST FELL ON ME?????!!!!!!!
A dead BAT just fell on me!!!!!!
Oh my goodness !!!!!!!! ***
I look down at my leg where I felt the impact...
Bright red bat blood on my sweaty (but relatively new) yoga pants. And this is when I started flipping out! Minimal screaming but lots of flicking of my wrists and pacing in circles. The children immediately notice somethings off and run over.
"What's wrong mama?" "What happened mama?"
"Oh I'm fine. A dead bat just fell on me when I closed the barn door!"
Pickle- "You gonna die of Way Bees (rabies), mama?"
"No baby! I'll be just fine."
I survey the scene. Another bat on the barn.
The boys are ordered into the house. I feed and give water to the sheep and chickens. I can't stop looking at the blood on my pants. I'm calling my doctor while lugging the hose around the farm to fill up the sheep, goat and chicken water pails.
The phone call to my MD clinic goes something like this:
Me: Can I speak with Dr. K's nurse?
Operator: Of course. May I tell her your concern?
Me: Well I live on a farm and a dead bat just fell on me. I'm already coming into the pediatric clinic at 1:45 to see if my kids have lice so I thought I'd see if I need to see my doctor too! And we are flying to Colorado tonight so we're kinda pressed for time!
Operator: (silence)
Me: Hello?!
Operator: I'll connect you right away to the nurse.
To be continued...
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