Record Cold Midwest Weather

Per my local "wunderground" weather report, it is currently -13 (but "feels like -35"). No school for the boys today or tomorrow! Ah, the life of a child. Farmer J has been on vacation doing some winter camping (I'm not joking) so I have been doing the animals chores alone in the midst of this "polar vortex". Let me tell you about doing winter farm chores when it "feels like NEGATIVE 35". Two words: It stinks (both literally and figuratively). I've dropped some more colorful language during my winter chore activities but I'm trying hard to keep this blog PG! Chicken chores: -Fill up the bucket with hot water from the mudroom -Carry the bucket to the coop via the snow-blown path (Thank you Papa Tom!). I found out the hard way that I slip and fall when wearing my black boots! Brown boots- much better traction- which is great because I often run from place to place as it is so, so cold out! -Try and unlock the lock on the coop door as quickly as possible because my fingers are already frozen. FYI-Mittens and farm chores don't work. -I open the door and the hens rush me! Picture "The Birds" movie! Immediately, I smell Nasty (with a capital "N") chicken poop smell. The hens have been in the coop so much- their droppings are ALL OVER the coop (and not on the ground, etc.) -Farmer J bought blue water buckets that stay warm so the animal's water doesn't freeze. Pretty nice invention! I empty the water in the dish- as it is Nasty (with a capital "N") and full of chicken droppings, straw, etc. I fill the bucket with clean water. - I put the bucket outside and start giving them feed. I tried taking my gloves off (when I was reaching in the bag to reach the feed) but my hands got way too cold so I put my gloves back on (luckily, I was wearing Farmer J's farm gloves. -Grab the metal bucket handle ("feels like NEGATIVE 100") and head to the barn Goat and Sheep chores: -Walk to the barn with the remaining water (or refill water in the mudroom and warm up for a bit) and try and not spill the water all over my boots (like I did today). Pick up some staw/hay. Skip getting any goat treats because it is just way too cold and there is no way I can carry goat treats, a bucket of water and an armful of hay-- and I am not making two trips. -I carefully walk down the slippery hill, with the frozen goat turds helping with traction, towards the lower barn door. Tonight, because it was SOOOOO cold, I only opened the top portion of the door, threw in the hay, lifted the bucket inside the barn, shut the top door and proceeded to run back to the house! I can't wait until it's a balmy 35 degree (as projected) on Friday! -